What You Feel Now May Not Matter in the Future

If your negative emotions dominate you, ask this question to yourself: will this matter if I remember it when I am 99 years old?

I ask this question when I feel nervous. For instance, before I am going to do a presentation, I am afraid that people will judge me or say something mean when I make mistakes during my presentation. Then, I ask that question. My answer is that the mistakes that I make will not matter. The judgment from the people will not matter. I am sure that I will not be able to remember this time when I am 99 years old. In the end, those mistakes and judgments are not a huge deal.

You can change the age to 80 years old or 50 years old. The choice is up to you.

The point is that when you feel that something is inconvenient or uncomfortable or you make a big fuss, you can reduce that feeling by asking a simple question: will this matter when I remember it in the long distant future?

If you think asking that question is the same as fooling yourself, think again. Remember the day when you got a bad mark on your exam or your homework? If you are now an adult and remember that mark, are your feelings the same as before? Do you still feel ashamed or sad about it? You might be able to make a joke about it or even say with confidence that you were weak at a certain subject in the past.

If you have played a video game for five years, can you remember your feelings when you lose for the third time? If you still can remember it, what did you feel? You might feel disappointed at that time. But now is not a big deal. Losing is normal when playing a game. If you ask yourself, "Will this matter if I remember it when I am 99 years old?" You will not care about it, right?

But this is not a sure way to make you feel calm immediately. Losing is still not a good thing. Doing a presentation may make you feel nervous. Making mistakes in front of the audience is embarrassing—no matter how much experience you have in doing public speaking. But that question helps you to see the bigger picture, so your mind is not trapped in a particular moment.

You can ask yourself whenever you are nervous or scared. By asking a legitimate and realistic question, your answer can help reduce your negative emotions—instead of imagining people as potatoes.

To end this article, I ask you one question: will this article matter if you remember it when you are 99 years old?