Self-Denial Is Good While Lying Is Bad

A person is angry. But the person speaks calmly instead of shouting. Do you think this person lies? If a man wants to watch porn, but he encourages himself not to watch porn, do you think he lies to himself?

Lying is not the same as self-denial.

Denying yourself to follow the evil is not lying. Instead, you recognize that evil desire and insist on rejecting it. You ensure that you keep following God.

An angry person who speaks calmly instead of shouting is not a liar. The person is doing self-denial. A man that wants to watch porn but does not watch it in the end is doing self-denial.

Another example of self-denial is to face a fear. For example, a person is afraid of a clown. Naturally, the person tries the best to avoid clowns. But since the person wants to destroy the fear, the person faces the clown. The person keeps repeating a certain phrase in mind, "Clowns are not evil. They are just people with strange makeup." At first, the person's feet are wobbly when trying to get close to a clown. The person's heart is pounding so fast. But after repeated exposure to clowns, the fear starts reducing. In the end, interacting with clowns does not make the person afraid anymore.

If you think accepting your fear and not doing anything is honest, you are wrong. You lie to yourself. You do not want to recognize the truth: humans always want to get better and achieve more. Do you want to keep living in fear? Saying that you are an honest person to defend your fear is a lie.

Lying means you are hiding the truth. For example, a student says to the parents that the student got a 90 on the mathematics exam. The student actually gets 50. The student hides the truth. When the mother finds out, the student ends up with two issues: bad score and lying. Another example is a doctor who lies to a patient by saying that one's cancer is not chronic. But the truth is that the cancer is in a deadly state.

Lying is always making you move backward and adding more problems by giving you temporary solutions. In the long run, your lies destroy your life. Meanwhile, self-denial makes you stronger and more resilient. For example, a person decides to read a book for an hour when the person actually wants to watch Korean Dramas (K-Dramas). The person denies the desire and chooses to read books. In the long run, the person gets lots of knowledge. If the person decides to watch K-Dramas, the person will not gain any new knowledge.

Consider this scenario: your best friend tells you that your best friend steals the phone of one of your classmates. If you tell about it to your classmate, your best friend will hate you. Then, your classmate comes and asks, "Do you know where my phone is?" In your heart, you do not want to fight with your best friend. If you practice self-denial, you tell your classmate that your best friend steals the phone. You deny your desire to keep befriending with your best friend. If you say something else or pretend not to know anything, you lie. You hide the truth from your classmate.

Based on that scenario, if you support your best friend who is a thief, you must be ready to be the next victim. Also, your best friend may accuse you as the thief—knowing that you are attached to your best friend. In the long run, you will suffer more. But if you decide to tell the truth to your classmate and cut the relationship with your best friend, you do not need to lie or feel threatened anymore. You are free.

Can you now differentiate between lie and self-denial? Liars are liars. They are evil. But people who do self-denial are not lying to themselves. They ignore evil thoughts and do good actions. They keep doing the right things.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

—Matthew 16:24, King James Version